Its been a long time since my last post. It's also been a long time since I saw the sun, even in summer.
During the last weeks my life was an up and down, it was like living in two different worlds. Summer time means parties, weddings and BBQs, it means happy people, buying presents and preparing and organizing party games. But for me it also meant bad news, sleepless nights and sick bed visits.
It's never good to be in a bad mood, but in summer time it's even harder. I tried to switch between both like you do it with your TV-channels. And it worked for a couple of weeks, but I reached a point where I didn't knew what to do first, what is more important.
My friend told me it's like juggling, and yes it feels like juggling with to many balls. But you can handle it and at least try to juggle with the balls you can keep up. But I couldn't hold the balls in the air any longer and so I tried to find a better metaphor. And I came up with the following:
MAKE A SANDWICH WITHOUT BREAD.
(it's from allposters.de)
You can try it again and again, you can put on cheese and bacon and sliced tomatoes and lettuce, but without bread or a roll it won't be a sandwich. Everything will fall of and even if you get it in your hand you won't eat much because it's to fat, to rich. (metaphorically speaking)
So my power (the bread) got lost during this time but I tried hard to keep all things in order and be what everybody ask me to be and to do (the bacon and cheese and tomato and lettuce and mayo and so on). Till one day there was a big BANG and everything fell off. And thats the point when I realized all this brought me to this bad mood feeling. All power was gone and I had to think about me and my life.
So I hope everybody feels way better, I try hard, every single day, to get back to normal. And I will tell you in the next post, what helped me to feel better, not exactly good, but way better. So if you are in a bad mood or you are feeling alone and hopeless be sure there will be more out there with this feelings, even in summer time.
big hugs and sunny-sanwich-making-greetings